Category Archives: Life

जीन्दगी

जीन्दगी के हो?
कहिले कमजोर, कहिले कठोर,
कहिले Rowdy Rathore।

कहिले नुन, कहिले सुन;
अनि कहिले टुनक टुनक टुन।

जीन्दगी के हो?
कहिले लसक्क, कहिले मसक्क,
कहिले टकरक्क।

कहिले सिमसिम, कहिले टिमटिम;
अनि कहिले अमुल फ्रेश क्रिम!

जीन्दगी के हो?
कहिले लम्फु, कहिले डम्फु,
कहिले चिनिया कुम्फु।

कहिले कुकुर, कहिले ढुकुर;
अनि कहिले भ्यागुताको टुरटुर।

जीन्दगी के हो?
कहिले लजालु, कहिले मायालु,
कहिले सेतो त कहिले रातो आलु!!

कहिले छायाँ, कहिले माया;
अनि कहिले न कोही दायाँ न कोही बायाँ!!

जिन्दगी के हो?
कहिले कृष्ण, कहिले राम;
कहिले लास्टै हराम।

कहिले चुस्त, कहिले दुरुस्त;
अनि कहिले धेरै नै रुष्ट।

जिन्दगी के हो?
कहिले less, कहिले more;
कहिले त्यसै bore।

कहिले बचुवा, कहिले हचुवा;
तर, प्राय: एक साधारण कछुवा।।

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के नै पो ख्याँसियो?

जीनदगीको धेरै बसन्त जिइयो
खोइ त के ख्याँसियो?
बाल्यकालमा कामथियो, पढिन्थ्यो;
कहिले बाको कहिले मिसको गाली पनि खाइयो,
तर खोइ त के नै ख्याँसियो?
जवानीमा प्रेम पनि गरियो
कलेज जान्छु भनेर
गोदावरी पनि धाइयो,
तर, खोइ त के नै ख्याँसियो?
पैसो चाहियो, जागिर खाइयो
कहिले वाह वाह पाइयो
कहिेले हप्काइ खाइयो
तर जीन्दगीमा के नै ख्याँसियो?
कसै संग सम्बन्ध सुमधुर बनाइयो
कसैसंग चिस्याइयो,
तर खोइ त के ख्याँसियो?
जीनदगीको धेरै बसन्त जिइयो
खोइ त के नै पो ख्याँसियो?

It has been a while.

It has been a while,

since my walk to the last mile.
There was so much to do,
But only few ounces of beer could brew.
And all that remaining rye
was left to dry.
There is so much to do
I wish all the beer could brew
And not even a single ounce of rye
would be left to dry.
Though it has been a while,
I have yet to walk my last mile.

Hopeless

Great!

i am yet again behind the race. I had already become one lap late than the leaders and now the leaders have taken a lead in this lap too.

How depressing but obvious is that? With my kind of attitude, the only thing i deserve is to be at the bottom of the finished list if I ever finish the race that is. Everyone knows that! so why am i depressed?

“Not a big deal” some people might say. And more often than not those few people are my own other egos from within myself. In my imaginary world made up of losers, I am the winner. They have this dumb belief that I can never loose. And yet, on the outside I keep failing and they keep boosting don’t worry mate, next time.

When will the next time come nobody knows, but the imaginary losers are always there to cheer me on for yet another no aim path that i often pursue to make myself feel good.

Funny as it sounds, I write only when i am really down. when things have gone out my hands to a point of no return. Everyone reading my writings that I think I would leave behind as the only mark of my own will come to believe that I was a sadistic looser caught up in worldly pleasure without even a blur image of wot he wanted to be.

When will this course end if ever it does? A question whose answer I have hopelessly surrendered to the hands of Mr. Fate. Till then, I will always be this miserable fuck. love u all. take care. Adios!

Life Assessment

Lieutenant:

The end of the road is near. You’ve got bull-dozer to build some more, private? We haven’t located our target yet!!!

Private:

Did we not build some miles extra already sir?

Lieutenant:

Yes, we did. But I guess, it ain’t enough.

Private:

I hate to tell sir, but the road ends in a river and we don’t know how to swim.

Lieutenant:

Then, we might just have to learn how to, wont we?

Private:

We should have never taken the one less travelled by, sir!

Lieutenant:

Soldiers don’t loose hope private. Now jump in there and move your limbs. You will be able to swim.

Chyapo and Thingu: A Tribute!

Back in the times, when khelu and I used to share 208-Patel, we furnished our room with a lot of things to make it homey and cozy for both of us. When we were done with everything else, we thought about having a pet/s.

I had always wanted to keep turtles as pets and never succeeded in doing so at my own home because my parents would go crazy about keeping a fish let alone an amphibian. So, when I suggested khelu about it, he gave it a thumbs up and we got ourselves two turtles from a shop at katra.

In the rickshaw, two of us filled with joy with our pets and their little glassy home, we thought about names for our latest roomies. I was still obsessed with Adam sandler’s pet in “50 first dates”; Chyapo, so i put the name of my (the one which was bigger) turtle Chaypo. Khelu thought he would call it just turtle but in manipuri (his mother tongue), which was Thingu.

It was cool to hang around with our new roomies. They were slow and whenever they got pissed, they would hide inside their shells and then slowly came out of it without too much fuss at all. We played. The racing was the most fun part. Chyapo wouldnt move at all. Small thingu would be really energetic once out of his glass. But Chyapo would be cautious.

We became famous. We were now being known as the “Turtle Dudes”. We were so inspired by our new roomies that we started a radio over the LAN and called it Turtle Radio. We named our fictious tech firm, Turtle Inc. And i started calling myself Turtle. My brother started calling himself Turtle’s bro.

But then, one sad day, chyapo bade us farewell. We were upset. But we did know the end was near because he was on an infinite hunger strike protesting god knows what. He chose the Gandhian style of revolution, but never understood that in today’s world nobody gives a shit about peaceful course of action. You need to make sound and wreck some havoc to get heard loud and clear.

Thingu, inspired by his fellow comrade, followed the same course of action and soon followed suit. We were so engulfed by our name and fame that these little guys had given us, we forgot to take care of them. We forgot that we were famous because of these little creatures. And people adored us for learning to live with species of diferent kinds not because our pets were different.

In a symbiotic environment, it is essential that the interests of both the parties be taken care of by each other. We failed to take care of our roomies interests and their pains. We turned a blind eye in their search for something that we didn’t bother to find out because they would just not speak up.

This is a tribute to all Chyapos and Thingus that have been promised a better future but have been denied just because they are too miniscule a thing for anyone really listen to. Every one has a voice and if they are not attended by a suitable response, no society will be in a total symbiosis, which is the intial idea anyway.

Happy Birthday!

This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill
Fifteen percent concentrated power of will
Five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain
And a hundred percent reason to remember the name!
-Fort Minor

I had a dream. I was famous and successful. That was on my birthday 5 years back. Fast forward to 5 years and life could not be more messed up than it is. It is my first birthday when I am in a pensive mood. And everybody who knows me will know why.

Being, Twenty Three is not that bad but its just that I feel like crying. God knows why. God has not been kind to me these days. It stole from me my soul. Wonder how old will I be before it takes my physical existence out of this world as well.

But before that I have to be a somebody. I am a somebody now; a son, a brother, a friend. Still I am a nobody in this ever ballooning up world of good and bad. There must be a way for me; a plan that was laid down for me; a contract between me and the God; otherwise I wouldn’t be here in the first place.

Spending 23 years in the earth, i am thinking of my parallel lives. How it would have been if I had taken some different decisions for me? But that is past, as pravin dai said. And supposedly life has greater things in store for everybody and that aplies to me unless I am an outcast.

With this note of optimism, I wish myself a Happy Birthday. And wish that my dream will come true and hopefully I am not in a pensive mood in any of my birthdays from now on. Take care amie. Your family and friends are always with you.

Wishing happy b’day to all the life forms who share their birthday with me today.

The Goa Diaries

Day 0; 23 dec 2006


It is 9:30 am and we are all set to go. After Runit & Co. arrived yesterday, everybody has been kept on their toes by their regular search of excitement within each member.

We have all started off with minimum clothes/utilities and maximum food for the trip.


[ I saw her in my dreams after a long time yesterday. She came back to me and I tried to run out from her. That to in my dreams; dont know what would I have done if it were real.]


The Team:

Amod; Runit; Hemant; Ashok; Raghu; Sushmit; Sangeet; Sunil; Bal


Day 2; 25 dec 2006


It is christmas and we are in Goa. It is around sun set in this part of the world and we have now covered aound 1/2 of the stretch of Goa; just in one day. I manufactured myself this time on the sand of Vagator beach with guys all in the salty water of the Arabian Sea. Some 20 metres besides me is a chick in bikini (if she is hot, I dont know of) who is reading a book. Chicks are of plenty here that too all hot. lol!

We started the morning at around 8:00 am from Margaon where we had haulted for the night overnight. The sleep at the platform, which is notably a ISO:9001 standard, was one with no-one having any regrets at all.

We arrived at Vagator at around 2:00 pm after visiting the churches at old Goa and hopping at Panjim and Mapusa on the way.

There was a time when Baje panicked and compared Goa with Biratnagae and somehow agjudged the later better. That all changed when we al saw a hot chick in her mini-skirts and Baje was in heavens already.

The chick, I was talking about a moment earlier, has got rid off of her clothes and now is on an impressive orange bikini and she is HOT.

The trip as of now is flawless with lots of good and some bad experiences. The local train from Kalyan to Thane was a headspin. I had heard about a fast moving Mumbai but actuallybeing there to witness it was both awesome and a littlediscomfoting. My hand still hurts thanks to some inhospitable pushing and pulling when we were getting off of a jam packed room.

The lunch today slightly overshoot our budget but did nothing to our taste buds nor our tummies(thankfully). As guys are returning out from the sea wet and wild, we still have no idea where we will put up for the night. [5:30 pm]

Day 6; 29 dec 2006

I have not been able to jot down the activites for quite a long time now. Juts because, for the first time, purely because I was absolutely out of time. So many have been the momeont/storites to be told, I might miss on numerous things in this memo that I am writing after 3 days.

Lets start with vagator. After the swim on the sea, we got together, bravely carried all our luggages, which becomes heavier the more you rest it on your backs, and headed to the otherside of the cliff.

We settled in a restaurant. We had a beer and I smoked. I have learned how to smoke in Goa. That’s why I like to call the trip “The Smoking’ Goa”. For a moment, we forgot the entire accommodation problem and enjoyed the beer on the sands with the sight of sun setting in the horizon. Everybody saving Baje relaxed who was troubled by a little stomach ache which would haunt Hemant more seriously after our stay at Baga.

After the dinner, we were told about a party up the hill; Sushmit, Sunil and Baje had the confirmation. Sunil even took a chance and asked a chick for a dance but had no luck.

We climbed up the cliff and we were in the midst of hot chicks. Everywhere we saw, everywhere we walked some times we following them and sometimes vice-versa.

The owner of the restaurant turned out to be a friendly person, first in a line of helpful/cheerful and warm human beings we would meet in days to follow. He offered us a small place besides his restaurant for us to sleep. Sarias, Raghu, Sunil and Baje went off to explore more following the light of the Bajes’ indigenous lamp. We slept after some reality checks with Sangeet having plenty of regrets on having to sleep over roasted cow dung.

Sangeet is always the first to wake up and makes every one wake up far too early than our usual standards. Next day, we freshened up had lunch and went to see the Chapura Fort. Everybody tried their best to give the “Dil Chahta Hai” shot. We were then off to Baga.

Baga was unique in its own rights as all the others are. Baga and Calungate, the two central beaches have been vastly commercialized due to a heavy inflow of not only international tourism but internal tourism as well.

As a result, Baga and Calungate have a heavy Indian presence and is ideal for party animals. We were once again haunted by the thought of spending another chilly night by the beach. Sleeping on the beach can be tricky. The water level keeps on fluctuating. By the evening it would go down and as the night begins the water level keeps on rising and rising and by the time sun goes up, it decreases again. So, a place to should be ideally as far off from the shore as possible. We could not locate any such suitable locations around the beach because there waere hardly any empty spaces between the strings of beach shacks set up to cater the needs of the tourists. We finally did locate a place near a boat used by fishermen and decided we would put up there for the night.

When we sat down to eat, the waiter turned out to be a real nice guy from Darjeeling and he was absolutely estatic to find a group of Nepalese in his place. He helped us tremendously with the billing and we gained some valuable insights on how prosperous hotel management can be. As we chatted along, I felt how big a divide there is between the haves and the have nots in this world.

The beach had everything to entertain us. There was even a show where a kid would perform courageous stunts with fire. Sushmit was not impressed with the open violation of child rights and refused to see any of it. The fireworks display was also impressive. The karaoke on the other restaurant was sometimes awesome and sometimes gruesome.

Before we went off to sleep me and runit caught up with two young fishermen who were cooking there meal in a little fire along side the beach. They even offered us some of their catch but we had no spaces in our tummy. We were not always woke up by Sangeet’s blabbers, some of us could not sleep because of cold and Sangeet was the most to suffer at Baga.

Because he could not sleep, Sangeet was not letting any one do so till late morning. He is very good at cracking jokes. “ Punjabi apna rasta khud banata hai.” Is the best till date. We gifted Anand Tsering Dai a souvenir and he was glad. We also met a guy from kanpur; quite a chatty fellow but nice. Then we left Baga.

Hemant was really sick by now and on the bus probably he told himself that he cannot continue with this wild roaming without taking care of his stomach before any other excursions in the survivor camp.

When we got down at Mapusa, the plan was to find a place and stay there for the night. We were also suppose to go to Anjuna Beach for the evening. We found a nice hotel in a modest price. Everybody took turns for a fresh shower. For many it was there first fresh shower after we had left Allahabad or thei home even. Me, Runit and heaven had however stolen time at the Margaon station to take a shower in Christmas. I shaved after 10 days. This cleaning up ourselves took us close to 3 hours and left us absolutely starving. So we finally made our way down to the hotel to find a really clean and nice vegetarian restaurant whose thali was impressive at just 25 rs. A plate. Some good food was a delight but Hemant was already under ORS.

After the meal, Hemant retired in the hotel and we headed towards Anjuna. We missed the flee market due to some information mismatch but Runit, Sangeet and Raghu were quick to explre the high tide waves. They still say the remaining of us missed the best waves of the trip. My slippers mae way from the side and I was forced to walk bare-footed until I found a shop where I bought a pair of Hawai for 70 bucks. Fair price according to Bajaj. We talked with some local kids. From the little conversation we could manage with them. We managed to have Bal figure out that Goans are weak in maths. Apparently he had noticed the conductors unable to perform simple multiplications.

When we missed the last bus to Mapusa, saving Raghu and Bal, we all decided to walk about 12 kms to Mapusa. Though Runit had far ambitious ideas of getting a date for the night, I think e\he enjoyed the prospects of a tiresome hike more and he joined and lead the expedition buying everyone a bottle of water and a beer for himself. After walking for around half an hor and some beautiful figured sights around which according to Baje was real hot, Runit got us a lift from a pickup. I nearly missed out on the lift. But, once we got up the back of the pick-up the wind started pulling our hair in the opposite direction and we were enjoying the free trip to the fullest. The wise driver, who worked for some Western Charity organization, pulled over 3 kms away from Mapusa and we hiked all the way. It took us around 45 minutes to reach I think. I was my first experience to walk from a place where no person would be seen to the civilization.

When we reached the hotel, everybody else had gone for dinner and we joined them. Hemant tried but could not eat anything. We took Hemant to a Government hospital where he was diagnosed no dehydrated and was prescribed some drugs and was advised to continue his ORS. The hospital itself amazed us. There were three on duty doctors at 11:00 in the night. And the service was free. We returned to the hotel, made a little soup for Hemant and slept.

The next day (Wednesday), we decided to head off to Arambol. We are still here and are now planning to stay here till the new years. The only problem we are facing right now is we cant get bikes and any effort to get some was also put aside because we were told we would require Indian passports which none of us had.

Anyways, when we walked through the alley that led us to the Beach, we were overwhelmed by happy and welcoming Nepali people. Business is good here, they say and as I am writing this note right now, I can see what they mean even in a little depression in tourists this year due to Al-Qaeda threats.

We met Uttam Dai of Kathmandu Collection, a real warm guy, my uncle’s age. He offered us his shop to keep our luggages which we gracefully accepted. We had real fun with Uttam dai and other people at kathmandu collection. He even treated us a lunch one day.

Once we got down to the beach, as the Italian in the bus told, we found ourselves in the most beautiful beach of all. We did our usual routine; took a dip in the sea; roamed around. We were joined by a chick from Chech Republic, a dude from Denmark and another one from Israel with two guys from Pune when we played volleyball.

Later, we could see topless women enjoyin the warm Goan sun, which has become another way of life after more than twehty four hours on the beach.

I met some Austrian guys around. One wants to come to Allahabad for the Kumbh Mela and I am offering him my hostel room if he does. At night, I checked up with some Nepalese all around the market and ended up in a cyber cafe. We dined at another Nepalese joint and had a real nice meal.

We headed towards the beach and listened to some great music by a Spanish, a german and an English. Before that the performance at a local restaurant, LOEKI, was mind blowing. It was real good.

Me, Raghu, Hemant and Bal stayed at the beach and others went to a party which they never found. I woke up to a real cold morning and walked up to a fire where I met the Austrians. When I came back everybody was up. We freshened up had coffee and went to sweet lake. The hike to the duplicate banyan tree was cool. We came back had breakfast and slept on the beach.

Others returned and we met them on their way to sweet lake after we had our breakfast. Sushmit fell from a rock and sustaqined minor injuries in his hand during the hike but remaining people they say saw naked women and Sushmit even saw some kind of sexual stuff.

After my lunch, I stayed at KTM collection and completed this diary and now that everybody is here I am off to roam around with them.

[7:45 pm; 29-12-06]

02-01-2007

[ That day, when we were roaming I got a chance to call home. Fortunately, it was my dad’s Birthday. I wished him and remembered something that had started that day and had lasted for a magical five years.]

Happy New Years to everybody, dead, alive, single, committed; everybody who can listen, read or whatever their preference.

Today is the last day on our Goa Trip. Our train departs at 9:00 om from Margaon. We had no plans on the new years day; so we just passed the day . I slept. Others did something or the other.

The day before; the last day of 2006, we went to Qerim and boarded the Ferry and were trapped on the other side of the backwaters with Sangeet, Raghu and Hemant on the either side. We looked like people who had just hiked through Sahara. But as the evening dusked, we were caught by an excitation of welcoming new years. Everybody tried their best to look fresh and hot for the party. We dressed and headed for the parties on the beach.

[ I have always found myself lonely when I am in the crowd. There are so many people around you, but no-one to turn to, to talk to. Anyways, the party was rocking and I was high with a screwdriver and cigarettes.]

We met all kinds of people. Everybody met someone or the other. But, I think Gante should win the race when it comes to making one close. Sadly, from the things that Gante tells us about her, she sounds like a loner but except that she seems to be fine. We had no experiences as such ourselves.

On 30th, after having an innovative breakfast at the duplicate banyan tree that we had discovered the previous day, we climbed further up the hill to reach the real Banyan Tree. We were welcomed by a hairy dannish guy(saint) who was weak and claimed that he had been looking after the place for ten years now.

We were more than impressed by his house-keeping. Everything was so clean. He sang us Hanuman Chalisa to the tune of his Guitar after we sang some Bhajans. He seemed disappointed with authorities in Nepal because he was not allowed inside the Temple of Lord Pashupatinath.

Me and Sushmit went to Qerim afterwards and returned for the lunch we were offered by Uttam Dai. It was an adventure because I was barefooted on the most difficult and rocky terrain I had traversed till date.

[ Yesterday, ie Jan 1st, we got an opportunity to jam up with a guy from Russia, whom we later posed as Kid-rock to Praveen Dai. He was good with his guitar. We sang few songs. I felt good, probably the only time I was happy the whole day.]

[ I called her up yesterday and felt real stupid. Shouldn’t have had.]

[ Wishing mom, Dad and Mote a Happy New year. Love you guys. Take care.]

[ 8:00 am; 02-01-2007]

Later that day, we saw Urmila Matondkar casually shopping in the market. We went up for an autograph but were shoved away.

After reaching Margaon, Guys went off to some other beach, Me, Baje, Sunil, Hemant and Sangeet stayed back at Margaon for a movie. We met at the station had dinner and boarded our train. We didn’t have a reservation, so we just slept on the floor something that has not been an alienating experience for us after the trip.

Next morning at Mumbai, we had another fighting experience with the local train. We even lost a sleeping bag. We put our luggages at the cloak room and went off to roam around Mumbai. Runit went to meet his sisters. We all walked from CST to the gateway of India. Later me and Sushmit took the cruise to Elephanta. Others stayed on and enjoyed Mumbai.

We came back and walked for some time through the alleys surrounding the Taj Hotel, We reached Marine drive in a perfect time of sunset. And it looked awesome. We were also impressed by Mumbai’s BEST bus service and that’s why we wondered why people in Mumbai commuted via the crowded local trains.

We had dinner and boarded the train and had some troubles with the TTE because we didn’t have reservation for two stations. When everything was settled we were all recapitulating the glorious week that had gone by in Goa.

We reached Allahabad at 8:00 pm next day and felt at home. We had the most expensive dinner of the entire trip at Maikhana and returned to sleep in our beds.

The trip has been one we will cherish for years to come. Hail LMC and thanks to everyone involved for making it a carnival.

From the LMC blogs this is Jhilke signing off with the list of things we will never forget about Goa.

The Nicks

Ashok alias Pakhandi.

Bal alias the revolutionary

Amod alias Hagua

Sushmit alias Paapi

Sangeet alias Alarm/ Shikhandi

Runit alias CS

Hemant alias Veja Manager

Sunil alias Gattuso

Raghu alias Lose tuner

Khaires alias khate bhikari

The common fund; Flexible; Chikandro; Dawaat ko chicken Thali; Kathmandu Collection; Uttam Dai; Shiva dai; Sweet Lake; The Banyan Tree baba; Topless Babes; Urmila; Penelope Cruz look alike; The new years’ Russian chick.

[Any changes that the members felt should be done or added are encouraged to do so. Just type in your own memorable experiences at the comments or come to us to edit the blog. Love u all. God save us.]

You are not welcome!

Today is the first day of an endeavour I never wanted or even dreamt in my wildest nightmares that I would ever take. Still, I have got things to sort out. But, as of now, for a brief time, I am relaxed. I have not been that for a long time now.

Sometimes, I still wonder where has the person inside me gone? But, as I have realized, I have been wondering too much on that fact rather than trying to mould and give shape to the new person that is left in me now. It is a hard task. I know parenting is always the hardest job to do on this planet. And I want this kid of mine to be as proud as I am of my parents.

Keeping aside so many parallel thoughts I get these days, and that was one of it, lets concentrate on why I installed the MS Office 2003 at 5:30 AM just to write a blog. Actually, it is funny. Its just one of those days when you need to keep a mark so that you can flip on your history pages to look back into it later. Just my history of course. And if you are highly optimistic, this day might even be important for historians of later centuries. Lol!

Today, I am adding up one more year to complete my Bachelors Degree. And, I have never been so sorry for myself my whole life. Yes, I do write this kind of statement in my every blog and probably people reading it might even think I am a pessimistic pig. But, I have read somewhere that a good writer can always mask his personal life and attitude with his writings. I am not a good writer though.

I could not sleep last night. You can blame it on the hungry mosquitoes, or the powercut. So, when my eyes open at 4:00 AM, it was hard to go back to sleep again. So, I decided I would go meet the GOD for a change. It was a perfect beginning to an imperfect endeavour. Anyways, I got up, freshened up and headed towards Narayani Ashram.

On my way to the main temple, I was thinking of all kind of things I could or should tell the GOD. I knew he would seek answers from me. And, answers I didn’t have. When I reached there the doors were closed. It was almost as if he was saying “You are not welcome son. Go, achieve something in your life and come back when you think you deserve a date with me.”